Girl On Fire: How Self-Assured Are You?

By T. Denise Manning

It comes a point in time in a woman’s life when the petty mess doesn’t affect her or her world. The rude remarks of ” she think she all that” or ” who she think she is” or ” she think she betta than everybody” don’t raise a hair on her eyebrow because she knows those comments, remarks come from the insecurities of the person saying them. Being a self-assured woman means you’re confident in who you are and you know your own worth. Knowing your worth is very important to any woman, not knowing WHO you are or WHAT your worth can cause you to believe falsehoods about yourself or another’s perception of you.

A self-assured woman walks and speaks in confidence. Her confidence is not only shown within but on her outer presence as well. It all boils down to self-esteem and when you have genuine self-esteem it shows in your daily life. Those that don’t possess it may envy or even hate you for having it. Self-esteem doesn’t come from buying or wearing a new pair of red bottoms, having a foreign car or even having a man with a six figure income. Self-esteem comes from a love you have for yourself. Speaking for myself.

I’ve been through some ruff situations and circumstances and I’ve supported myself financially since I was a youth. I call myself “self-made” because nobody on this earth can take credit for my success but God and my hard work. Paying my own bills, finishing school, deploying to Bagdad, starting my business, serving in leadership roles, traveling to foreign soil to serve others has all contributed to my self-esteem and stepping out on faith and killing all doubt of failure has caused me to be a self-assured woman!

Self-assured woman think differently! We don’t have time for drama or non-sense that equate to nothingness. Self-assured woman are constantly thinking about what to do NEXT, where to go next, what to accomplish next, who to partner with next and so on and so forth…Today is the day you stop allowing doubt, the fear of failure and the remarks or opinions of others to have any space in your mind or in your life. Today is the day you think and become a self-assured woman!

How to become a self-assured woman:

1. Accept your story. If you are from the ghetto of California or the suburbs of Chicago, if you had it good or not good at all, if you were abused or had a lavish upbringing, its time you accept your story. Your story can be beneficial to another woman and denying it will only stunt your growth. In order to be the total you, you must accept and make peace with your story.

2. Cut them OFF! It’s time to cut off people that don’t support you and are not in your life for your greater good and yes that means family too! Having people in your life that don’t support you causes you to doubt yourself and it takes away your energy. Create a circle of supporters that can keep it real and encourage you at the same time.

3. Live for YOU! Live out loud. You are a grown woman and it’s time to stop caring what somebody thinks or feels about you! Live your life unapologetically and stop seeking the approval of others. IF you need to discuss or get an answer… take it to prayer. Once you’ve accepted your story and cut people off, IT’S TIME TO LIVE! And don’t look back.

4. Be Happy! Be happy NOW! Being happy is a choice. Identify what truly makes you happy within and be that, do that, become that, have more of that. Practice positive thinking and fight those negative thoughts that might pop in your head. Being happy is a state of mind.

5. Do YOU! Doing you creates a confidence boost. Being worried about others and their business only takes away from your own blessings. Stop wasting thoughts that aren’t useful. Take that class, loose that weight, overcome that fear, and get that new hair style. Whatever it is…it’s time to take care of you.

Self-assured women gain confidence from within and have proven to themselves that they can overcome, they can accomplish whatever it is they put their mind too. Self-assured women are not bothered by other people’s feelings of who they are, they just LIVE. I hope the same for you. I hope that you accept your own story, do the things you love, accomplish your goals and become a self-assured woman!

Speak Your Mind


T. Denise Manning
Charismatic, Direct, Inspired and POWERFUL, Ms. T. Denise Manning speaks to the core issues of overcoming hardship and achieving personal success – through courage, tenacity and imagination. Denise Manning inspires others to reach the potential they’ve always imagined!