In preparing for marriage, one a has to consider the state of their “heart”. We have to do a heart check. But what is our heart? It is essentially our belief system, our thoughts and feelings, our will – our inner world and being. Our heart guides our thinking, the standards and expectations – actions including what we do and do not allow in our lives.
In the “heart” are our experiences and beliefs that we have accepted to be true. These “truths” impact the way we think, what we think and feel about ourselves and other people, how we view and treat our relationships with each other. The “truths” are our mindset influencing our hopes, dreams, successes, and failures.
As the Word says flowing from our hearts – are the issues of our hearts. Along we journey along in this life, we have picked up “relationship baggage” at every stop. This is “baggage” from Daddy issues – either he was not present emotionally or physically, was abusive, or not there at all, you have been involved in “aimless” dating and relationships, been abused emotionally and physically, and not identifying with our purpose and power – essentially who we are in Christ. This baggage has us burdened down and has us stuck – seeking love and validation in the wrong ways and places, unable to move forward in our lives and not operating in our purpose and power.
Case in point – so there is a desire to be married. So you have been going on “aimless” dates and been in “aimless” relationships. They are aimless because (1) there is no leading or guiding of the Holy Spirit. (2) You are not ready to date emotionally or spiritually – no maturity. There is not a understanding of the true role and purpose of a man and woman. (3) There are no established or followed boundaries or expectations. So it is a free for all – having sexual relations, cohabitation, no seeking or building of a friendship – just whoever, however, whenever, whatever. (4) You are clouded and confused in seeking to fill emotional and physical voids. Besides, the filling of those voids are temporal – they will not last and you will find yourself right back in that familiar empty emotional state. (5) Wise counsel has not been sought. Yes, wise counsel – those “seasoned” folk who know you and your walk with God.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” ~ Henry Ford
You feel you are right – because your truth is your reality. But your reality is not who you are meant to be in Jesus. In the Bible, it talks about the need for transformation. This transformation comes from the renewing our minds. Our minds need to be renewed daily with the Word of God – to make healing of our heart issues a reality.
So healing of the whole person starts with healing the heart. Not the physical heart, but this “heart” that is the center and source of everything in our lives. This heart needs healing, and it needs guarding – with what the Word of God professes.
How do I heal myself?
Choose to identify the behaviors and mindsets that are not lining up with the Word of God. What are your truths right now – that have you stuck in a cycle of fear, shame, worry, worthlessness, destructive behavior, “aimless” relationships that leave you drained and lacking purpose and power? What truth are you waking up to? What does your mind dwell on throughout the day? What truth are you listening to from family and friends? That you can do all things in Christ Jesus who strengthens you or based on your truth gained through your life experiences? Choose to identify with the truths that the Word of God professes about you. Choose to pray and seek wise counsel for spiritual support and guidance.
Confess your heart issues and sins as this is key to getting free from that bondage. Luke 6:45 tells us “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” So it is time to face our reality. Empty yourself of your “truths” and place those issues with the Heavenly Father and leave them there. As there is no condemnation to them in Christ Jesus. Meditate on the Word of God and allow it to permeate in your heart and mind.
Be the woman of God created you to be. Knowing your purpose and power. Knowing that you can be healed, happy, and hopeful as God’s glory is manifested in your life. Let the mind of Christ be in you – this takes renewing of your mind in praying and spending consistent quality time with Him. Allow the Word of God to bring transformation in your life.
When these heart issues are healed, this can prompt healing in all areas of your life. If you have health issues, you will be moved to be “faith in action” – to pray for healing, start exercising, eat healthy, and more. You will cast down “vain imaginations” that goes against what God says about you and your life. Including the types of relationships that you allow in your life. You will “guard your heart” and truly love yourself – just as you will understand and identify with as the heavenly Father loves and has for you.
As women we want to be married and create a home, be led, to give and to receive love – be a committed help mate for God’s glory. That is just how God purposed and wired us. If these heart issues are not resolved, they will continue to fester and grow hindering us spiritually, mentally, and physically. Not only in our relationships – but also in our faith walk, home, in all our endeavors, in our lives.
So surrender to Him and lay your heart issues at the Father’s feet for healing. He knew you and loved you before the foundation of the world. He will ultimately led and guide you in all truths in healing. The Father knows you. The Father truly knows and has what’s best for you.