Being in singleness is a means of sanctification and also preparation for marriage. And everyone is at some point in a season of singleness in their life. We should always do and be our best during this time, count it all joy, and give God glory always.
Some women desire a mate and to be married. Hebrews 13:4 tells us “marriage is honorable in all things.” And God said that that “it is not good for man to be alone” and created a “help mate” for him. Matthew 19:6 says “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).” Marriage is truly honorable in God’s eyes.
Once we have the desire to marry, it can be all consuming. As women we are emotional creatures and can be distracted into focusing on the “romantics” of being married. Marriage is a serious and life-long commitment. A commitment that is foreshadowed in dating and engagement that has built a friendship. A best friend that you can share your fears, hopes, dreams, goals, and be truly committed to each other. A commitment or a covenant rather purposed for God’s glory and that continues to grow in Him.
But there is work to be done in us in preparation for this. And focusing on this though can take away from learning, wanting, knowing, and growing in Christ. Once you get focused on God and your relationship deepens with Him, you don’t even think about marriage anymore like that. Being single does not make you feel empty anymore because you are so invested and “hidden” in Christ. Being “full” in Him prepares you to become one with another.
And God knows you better than you. So trust the areas that He is leading you to work on and work on them. As women our focus is chasing after Christ, not chasing after a man. So what should we be doing? What should we be focusing on?
Preparing For Marriage God’s Way: 10 Tips For Single Women
These are key areas that “availeth” much in growing in your personal walk with God and singlehood, and prepares you for marriage.
1. Work on your heart and surrender to God: Marriage will reveal more of your heart and the time is now to work on any “issues” of the heart. So get your face-time with God daily and throughout the day. In our surrender and submitting to God, we will also have to surrender and submit to our husband.
Titus 2:4-5 tells us to be “sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children.” And that as wives “to be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited).”
Proverbs 31 says that this wife does her husband good ALL the days of her life. Consider ways to surrender now and how you can prepare to be of service to him.
2. Develop the fruits of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23 tells us the presence and following of the Holy Spirit produces love, joy, peace, an even temper, kindness, goodness, and faithful, gentleness, and self-control. You are going to need these not only in your personal relationships but also in marriage.
3. Develop your personal relationships: Learn to maintain relationships, this is even though disagreements and differences in opinions, etc. All relationships have basic core principles – trust, communication, love, commitment, and integrity. This also applies to marriage. So work on building and keeping these principles now.
4. Organize your household and clean your house: Create a strategy to capture and maintain all areas of the home. This includes work and school schedules, car maintenance, getting health exams, devotion time, planning and taking vacations. Just not on Sunday morning or Wednesday nights when you should be in worship or Bible Study. This is the part of the Proverbs 31 woman “looking well after her household.”
5. Be sensible with money: Now is the time to develop a sound spending plan and establishing good habits with saving and tithing money. Also, be frugal, patient, and research for the best quality items at the best price. You don’t need all the latest fashion. Create your own style and know what looks best on you. Don’t be that sister that copies and keeps up with “Sister Jones”.
6. Develop your mind: Reading is fundamental! Choose some subjects to learn about and grow your mind. Set aside time daily to read and reflect. Take classes to develop your strengths and gifts.
7. Make the most of your life: Don’t waste your time watching hours of television, on the phone catching up with the latest gossip, and reading celebrity magazines. What fruit are you producing from those habits? The Word tells us to “consider our ways.” Consider how your time, gifts and talents can serve your church and community.
8. Get moving: Get your heart and lungs in shape. You will breathe better, sleep better, and improve your overall health. Add walking of 30-45 minutes or an exercise class to your daily regimen.
10. Learn to wait on the Lord: Yes, wait. Let me explain this “waiting.” Waiting does not mean wasting time and anxiously wishing for your husband to come. Not wasting time bringing “church dates”. Not wasting time telling some man “God told me you are going to be my husband”. Not wasting time being bitter or envious of everyone who is getting married or engaged. Not wasting time “hating” on another sister’s God-given beauty, gifts, and calling. Not wasting your time and your heart in co-habitation and on a “promise” ring. Until you are married, there is truly only one who can honor the promise of loving and taking care of us – that is Jesus.
During this time let us actively pursue sanctification, serve in a ministry, pray, read the Word, encourage others, uplift your sisters and treat men as our brothers in Christ. If you want marriage then prepare for it.
I praise God for being “hidden” in Christ to one day be found as a “good thing”.
Ladies, let us keep our focus on growing and spending time with God. Staying in His presence will give us peace in all of our lives and days. And we will be complete in Him and be prepared to one day become one with another.