Have you ever felt like you have done all that you can but to no avail. You have cried, prayed, tried, fought, screamed, left, came back, but the end result did not go as you planned. What about the job you had or have? You have dotted every ‘I’ and crossed all the ‘T’s’. Nothing, no promotion, no raise, not even a little bit of recognition or a handshake. What about the relationship that you have nurtured? You have encouraged her and gave to her until your bank account is dry and she dumps you. You have been by his side when he did not look so good and you polished him up and now he dumps you? I have been where you are. Honestly more than once. What a kick in the teeth! But my wise boyfriend taught me something. He said “Tammi what can you do after your best?” He told me he tries to give 100% in all things so when he has to walk away he has, “no regrets.” Ahh there is a couple of words, “no regrets.”
Look my lovely people when you have done all that you can and truly can say without a shadow of a doubt that you gave it your best, walk. Wait now, don’t walk away defeated. Do not walk away with your shoulder slumped and with your head hanging down. Walk away with a great smile and with your head held up high. You know without a shadow of a doubt that you have done the best that you can then what can you do? There is not a word that is better than your complete best. Nothing in this life is easy. Raising kids although I have do not have any; I have nieces and friends with kids. It is not walk in the park. Marriage is not easy been there and done that, having a relationship is not easy. Working for others is not easy, losing my parents was not easy, and having cancer was not easy. I can go on and on.
Look my friends we only get one shot at this lovely thing called life. Do not waste one second on things that don’t matter. I am not saying people don’t matter they do. I am not saying we don’t hurt. We do. I have had my heart broken and it is no fun. I have been overlooked for great jobs and it is no fun. But we have the power to change all things. Go and get busy and take care of you. You are totally worth it. You did your best now walk into the sunshine. Hopefully a few tips below can help you:
1. Write down the pros and cons of the situation. Make a resolution with the result. Things are not permanent. Everyday our life is changing. Yours will be changing for the better because you will make it change.
2. Love yourself and think highly of yourself. Even if the relationship fails, you are not a failure. Even when an employer does not see your worth, 10 more will think you are wonderful because you are!
3. Surround yourself with people that are really rallying for your better good. They will encourage you, smile with you, cry with you and be there for you at all times. These people are never too busy for you. Being busy is for the birds. We are not Oprah! Flee from negative people and negativity. Put that trusty voicemail to work. I will talk to you later or for some, perhaps never.
4. Enjoy yourself. As I am writing this article it is summer time in Chicago. Today is sunny and 71. Not much of a breeze. Just simply lovely. Embrace your days. Embrace yourself. Embrace life.
5. Better yourself. Exercise, try a new dance class, cuisine, travel see the world. Take a class at the park district or on line. Educate yourself and you will begin to feel empowered.
6. Check your thoughts. Do not beat yourself up but embrace the end result. Although it did not go like you wanted it, what is the lesson for you?
7. Greater later. You got me that time but this will not happen to me again. Now you are stronger, wiser, smarter, better. You go girl and you go boy. You are like fine wine. You will age with grace.
I always believe in people. I believe in myself and I truly believe in you. No matter what, you are amazing. You did your best my friend.