An Affair of the Heart: When You’re Emotionally Cheating

An Affair of the Heart: When You’re Emotionally Cheating


When you’re emotionally connected with someone, is it cheating?

When two people are in love, one doesn’t wake up and decide today will be the day I go outside of this relationship to fill the empty holes with the compliments, presence and emotions of another person. It is a feeling that gradually progresses over the duration of a relationship.

A sexual encounter usually isn’t what violated the relationship but the result of an already ongoing emotional relationship. While sexually cheating is bad enough, emotionally cheating is dangerous because it is able to be hidden.. for the moment.

When you’re having sexual intercourse outside of your relationship, it’s just that; you’re either getting your back blown on you’re not. However, when it comes to emotions, there are a lot of things that one can hide behind before everything explodes, because trust and believe it will soon boil over.

When You’re Emotionally Cheating

1. We’re Just Friends — Being in denial about how far the relationship has come begins with those 3 fatal words; We’re Just Friends. Those words usually become the cover up for something that you already know isn’t right in your heart, but by declaring your friendship and denying the obvious feelings you believe this will be good enough.

2. Dressing to Cheat — You stopped putting on his favorite dress and wearing his favorite perfume and started dressing in ways that are appealing to the eyes of the person you are emotionally cheating with. You started going out of your way to put on your Sunday’s best trying to impress the person that doesn’t belong to you.

3. Secretly Bound — Secrets create bonds. When you have a secret with someone you have a special relationship with them that goes passed hi and bye communication. When your conversation is different than it would be if your partner was with you, there is now an ‘us’. And when there’s an us, someone is always on the outside of that and in an emotional relationship it becomes usually your partner.

4. Emotional Ear — This person is given the privilege of hearing everything your heart is feeling. You confide in them about everything that is going on before you would (if you even) tell the person that you are committed to. This person has all rights to everything mental/emotional because you believe they care more about you than the person who’s no longer proving themselves worthy.

5. The Illusion of Mr. Right — Being in an emotional relationship creates an illusion of the the Mr. Right ‘you’ve always wanted.’ You’re completely blinded by the fact that you’re creating this person by what you choose and choose not to see. You tell them everything you’re feeling, where your man is slipping and they build themselves based off of his shortcomings. He tells you how beautiful you are, even when you don’t feel it. He is interested in your hobbies, your adoration for animals, and he doesn’t understand why your man isn’t treating you like you like the queen you are.

An emotional relationship binds something more deadly than a penis and a vagina, it binds hearts. When opening your heart to an emotional relationship, you’re creating a connection that becomes easy to hide, but difficult to break. A woman’s heart responds to what she hears and an emotional relationship starts in the ear and festers in the heart.


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Angel Starr
As a Certified Relationship Coach and expert in encouragement, Angel Starr specializes in preparing single women for healthy committed relationships, concentrating on self-worth, self-confidence, and self-love.