Is Your Childhood Controlling Your Adult Relationships?

Is Your Childhood Controlling Your Adult Relationships?

Smart, successful women who seem to always end up single have one secret thing in common:  inside them is a little girl who is hurting and who wants to be healed.  And the exterior adult is looking for the right man who will love her, mend her, and make her whole.


But it doesn’t happen that way.  To get Mr. Right, you have to fix your inner self and get it right.


I know this sounds painful, but the truth is, your inner little girl  has been battered and bruised by the not-so-nice elements in her growing up years.  Rejection, disappointment, judgment, and a whole lot of other bad experiences shaped your emotional.  You develop belief systems that limit your growth and worse, can cripple your self-esteem and hinder your emotional maturity. And until that little girl is healed, you keep on attracting the men resembling the ones who had hurt you in the past.  And in trying to create a relationship with them, that behavior that had hurt you before will keep on hurting you until something inside you gives.


You quit the relationship, you block yourself from loving other men, or worse you just keep on giving,  hoping that this man who had cheated on you will  finally love you—only he doesn’t and just rejects you, goes to another woman, and breaks your heart.


For example, if your emotional DNA as a child made you believe that you were unworthy of being loved, then subconsciously you will attract men who will just want to use you and not give you the love that you deserve.


However this is not a hopeless situation that you are destined to continue to recreate, if you are willing to pay attention to your unconscious behaviors and what you can learn from it, then you can identify the pain and overcome the patterns.

Is Your Childhood Controlling Your Adult Relationships?

Here are a few steps that can help you transform and have a Love Breakthrough:

1. Understand what’s happened in your past: You were hurt and created a set of beliefs which get trigged – you can explore these events as they surface, by taking personal responsibility and getting assistance from a coach to work through it.

2. Be Kind and Honest with Yourself – Explore why you developed these beliefs and acknowledge how they are showing up in your relationships, causing you to feel disconnected or unworthy of love.

3. Acknowledge and Accept-Acknowledge your thoughts rather than ignoring them and accept that you are truly loved and currently not experiencing the pain from your past. Live only according to what’s true, and let the rest go. Put aside any self-imposed limits.


These steps are part of a structured transformational process that requires  deep inner work to help you identify and overcome your unconscious behavior patterns which are causing you to attract and repeatedly date the wrong type of men. Once you relinquish playing the victim of your painful past, you will open yourself to love and Mr. Right.


Be sure to share how you will put these steps into action.

Speak Your Mind


Camille Sheppard-Parrish
Camille Sheppard, PhDc, MBA is a relationship coach and the founder of a Camille Sheppard & Associates, a boutique relationship and life development coaching firm as well as the Successful Women Date Differently Brand and Camille Speaks!